To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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