We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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