so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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