Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
