Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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