He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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