"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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