Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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