doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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