so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
