Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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