i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize