remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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