Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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