my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
