I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
