Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
