We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
