Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
