I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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