I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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