is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize