His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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