she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
