Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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