There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize