I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
