i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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