thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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