I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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