But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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