Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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