No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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