nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that's an acceptable place to lick
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
