I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
