It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
