mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
