I feel great
I just peed on a car
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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