are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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