Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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