honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
