I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
