After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
