Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
