At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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