new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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