I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
