well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize