But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
