I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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