I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
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