Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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