i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will be naked everywhere
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize