we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
