Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
