You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
