i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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